I’ve been eating a lot of it lately.
See, I’m good at my job. I’m not bragging, but I’m one of those lucky people for whom talent and vocation align. I spend my days, in principle, doing what I am passionate about, and what I am good at doing. I have a good reputation for doing my work well.
Being completely away from work for 8 weeks when I was sick was hard and I’ve been super-eager to get back to my desk. Getting back, I felt like I was firing on all cylinders– I was immediately chosen to work on a couple large profile opportunities and given more management responsibility. I was busy, but coping well. Then came last week. I got asked to fill in for some colleagues who were out of the office, doing a part of our business that I’m not normally involved with– a side of our work, that I found out, needs a more delicate touch than I’m used to.
To put it mildly, the last 6 working days have been disastrous. I can’t remember a time that I felt so inept, had my stomach in my throat while anticipating peoples’ reaction to my decisions, or was reprimanded so many times for not having handled a situation well. Turns out I’m a little sensitive to criticism. I need to learn to watch my words more carefully; be more diplomatic at this level of management. I guess I needed to see that not everything I touch turns to gold and that I still have much to learn.
Thanks for the reminder… now can I just get back to being the star player? ARGH.