25 Aug

I want a baby.

I found myself crying last night as I drove to the grocery store and again as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep. I don’t know why the pain is as acute right now, but I wish I had our baby.

Most days I only give a cursory glance to the rearview mirror, to the time I was pregnant, to the hopes and dreams I had for our first child that never came to be. But I’m awake now with a gnawing pain in my stomach, in my heart– that miscarriage took something real from me. Something that I now really miss, something I really wanted.


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