I’m having a hard time today

12 Dec

There, I said it. I’m having a rough day. 

I can’t seem to keep my emotions in check. Damn Christmas music is not helping…all this longing and expectation, and hope… damn hope. 

The homeless man panhandling by the stop sign on the turn to work had to try to comfort me this morning as I drove by, tears streaming down my face. I don’t know what it is… no. I do know what it is. I’m sad. 

I’m sad for the things that I hoped for this year that didn’t come to be. I’m sad for the things this season that will not be. I’m sad for the vulnerability that I feel in not being in control of my life. I’m sad for remembering all the pain of this time last year. I am sad. And it’s okay. It’s just hard to be sad and at your desk at work. 

 

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One Response to “I’m having a hard time today”

  1. elledacosta December 27, 2013 at 4:23 pm #

    The end of the year calls for an introspective and reflective look at what we have accomplished over the last 360+ days, but what do you do when some of the things you hoped for are out of your control? I take comfort in my husbands comforting words whenever sadness looms over me, I am still alive and that means I can keep hoping. God willing, our hopes will become reality.

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