13 Aug

Many people tell my husband that he’s spoiled; and he is.  With it just being the two of us for now, he gets a lot of pampering.  And it works for us: he has health issues that generally require him to have a very minimal amount of stress, and I like to feel like I’m taking care of business on the home front.

I mentioned in one of my recent posts that work was stupid crazy last week.  By the end of the day on Thursday, I was going out of my mind.  I had a splitting headache, I hadn’t stopped to get lunch so I was starving, and then I got a call from hubby that he had just checked himself into the hospital.

That day I had driven to the park n ride station and taken a combination of commuter bus and the metro to work.  Hubby had gotten a cab to take him 25 miles from our home to the hospital where his team of medical specialist work.  It was about 5:30pm and I was still at the office.  I would need to catch the metro, then the bus to pick up my car (a 1.5 hour trip), drive the distance to see hubs and then drag my tired carcass back home to work on a submission deadline.

I did the calculations and I just couldn’t find a solution that would make going to see hubby in the hospital work.  He sounded like he was okay… His medical team is very competent; he would be okay by himself overnight. Besides, what would I be doing there to make things any better for him?  I needed sleep, and food, and some Tylenol for my head… I called hubby and explained it all to him and told him I’d come see him after work the following day.

I had just hung up the phone with him when a good friend caught me online.  She asked how we were doing and I gave her a quick rundown…

Me: I’m stressed. I’m okay, but work is a lot right now, and hub’s in the hospital

Friend: oh boo, I’m sorry

Me: thanks love. He just checked himself in. I feel bad cus I’m still at the office, and need to pull an all-nighter– I’m not even sure I’ll be able to see him tonight

Friend: wow

Me: which makes me feel bad… but I’m so tired already, and he’s so far from home

Friend: 😦  Wow – Please can you go see him?

Me: It would be two hours of driving round trip in the traffic, and I kinda need those hours to sleep and/or work on this document… but I need to prioritize my husband over work or sleep, right?

Friend: I understand the challenge. I wish I could be there for you. Yes, please. Please. Remember all those months he was there for you

Me: I have to go home on the bus/train now– get the car, then head out there and then come home and work all night.

Friend:  I know how hard it is

Me: You are right… I’ll stop whining

Friend:  Sorry. Big hug. Go see him fast. Run. He needs you. Sending prayers your way. You’ll find strength somehow as you hop along to go see him. 🙂 big hug

I needed to hear what she had to say at that moment.  I dragged my tired butt home, ate some dinner then drove out to see hubby.  While he was distressed that I had come all the way as tired as I was, by the time I left he said, “I didn’t think you not coming was a big deal, but I actually feel better. I’m glad you came”.  And so was I.

I’m surprised that I almost got it wrong that night. Home life over work life is almost always a no-brainer for me, but almost allowed myself to lose track of what was important. I’m so very grateful to my dear friend who lovingly helped me see what I needed to do.  In the end I slept much better that night than I had most of the rest of the week.  (and hubby’s back home now, and doing better)


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